As adults or parents, we convince ourselves that it is all too challenging, and that we don’t have the time to connect with our children. Therefore, it can seem too hard to stick to a predictable routine. I observe in my own life, how this may be true on most days. When you are juggling work, children, household duties, study, social calendars, exercise commitments…… the list could go on indefinitely! Then it can seem like there are simply not enough hours in the day. Routines take a little (or a lot) of work to initially devise, but are well worth the effort!
Research tells us that a predictable routine (don’t confuse this with rigid!), is associated with better outcomes immediately, and in later life. With a routine, you will notice that your child is better able to concentrate, will display a calm and relaxed disposition, a strengthening of the family value and shared beliefs, creates a sense of belonging, which leads to feelings of safety and security and better cognitive outcomes later in life. In addition, including your children into the daily rhythms of the house will teach them valuable life skills, and healthy habits.
So, what does a predictable routine look like? It could be as simple as the following…
Start out by observing what your day looks like. Do you greet your child with warmth and joy upon waking? Are meal times calm? Do you have zero screens during these important ‘connection’ times? Do you use this time for conversation? Eye contact? What does bath time look like? What about bedtime routine? Do you read? Or sing a lullaby? Or meditate? Are your meals at the same time each day? Is bedtime at the same time each day?
Your task for this one is to simply document your current ‘routines’. Be honest with yourself about the areas where improvement would benefit the whole family, and ultimately provide a conscious connection between you and your child.
- Document what you would love for your daily routine to look like. I use a time template, this is where I insert all of the tasks that I need to do during the day for myself, and work commitments, then I insert all of the routine tasks, which includes routines for the children. This process ensures that I don’t miss anything, and I maintain a safe and secure environment for my children.
- Using a time template (email jadeluci@bigpond.com), begin creating your daily routine.
- You may need to try and adjust as you go. It many take time to establish a routine that truly works.
Note: it doesn’t need to ‘look’ the same every single day. Remember this is about consistency, NOT rigid practices.
Work on achieving one routine at a time. So, you may start with setting yourself a goal of ‘greeting your child every morning in a warm and nurturing manner’.
What could this look like?
- You hear your child wake in the morning, you walk into their room with a big smile on your face and could simply say ‘Good morning, it is so nice to see you this morning’. Do not underestimate the power of this simple sentence. This sentence communicates that you love them, that they are important in the present moment, and that you feel joy to see them.
- I would then spend as much time connecting as possible. In my home is anywhere from 5 minutes to 1 hour, depending on the daily routine I’ve set. My children love for me to simply snuggle with them in bed, and have conversations.
- Keep going until you have a routine that the whole family LOVE.
